Category: How NOT to be Happy: 10 Tips

This is the tenth of 10 tips for unwavering woe. No survey of happiness-thwarting tips would be complete without perfectionism. Perfectionism is like a troll at your drawbridge, asking ridiculous riddles and setting pointless challenges for every little joy that seeks to enter your castle. And because the troll’s tasks are impossible, those joys invariably… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 10: Be perfect

This is the ninth of 10 tips for unwavering woe.  The ocean of discontent is fraught with dangers – from blithe buccaneers to distress-eating sharks. In navigating these perilous seas, one of the surest ways to keep your waters stormy is to make a commitment to always being right. The question ‘Do you want to… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 9: Always be right

This is the eighth of 10 tips for unwavering woe. To weed happiness out of your life, there’s a herbicide you can trust – neuroticism. Nurturing your inner neurotic requires: an overwrought pre-occupation with the minutiae of your life an unflinching determination to exaggerate every miniscule worry a resolute dedication to wax miserable to anyone who will listen –… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 8: Be neurotic

This is the seventh of 10 tips for unwavering woe. Why pursue happiness? If happiness wanted to have its way with you, it would find you. Why make the effort of doing things that bring you joy and promote your well-being when it could be that happiness is just not that into you? Remember the old… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 7: Make happiness chase you

This is the sixth of 10 tips for unwavering woe. All our tips so far have involved the way you relate to others. We now turn to reality avoidance, a skill you can use all on your ownsome. It’s a trick of the mind that keeps you locked onto a Mobius strip of misery, and stops… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 6: Avoid reality

This is the fifth of 10 tips for unwavering woe. Being grateful makes you focus on the positives in your life – you feel good about something you have, or something someone does for you. Woe-foes are forever thinking about what they can be grateful for; they let these thoughts cast a deep and daily… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 5: Be ungrateful

This is the fourth of 10 tips for unwavering woe. How many happy-but-needy people do you know? Not many, right? It seems most happy people spend time with company because they enjoy it, not because they fear annihilation without the succour of others. Forget such woe-foes; fearing annihilation has its own rewards. In fact, neediness… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 4: Be needy

This is the third of 10 tips for unwavering woe. It’s a harsh reality that must be faced: ‘Other people’ simply do not appreciate how egregious things are. When you don’t get the expected promotion, you stay bitter for months because you care more than those other under-achieving joes/jos. They might find the flu unpleasant,… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 3: Pity yourself

This is the second of 10 tips for unwavering woe: This is a big one. You can’t be truly out of the shadow of happiness until you master the art of responsibility-dodging. In essence, the challenge is to thwart all attempts by the universe to offer you self-knowledge. It involves deflecting each piece of negative… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 2: Never take responsibility

This is the first of 10 tips for unwavering woe. What should you do if someone says something in an ambiguous tone of voice, or acts in an unclear way? Is she being bitchy? Was that deliberately snide? Did he just snub me? Who cares! The smartest assumption here is yes, always yes. The key… Continue reading How NOT to be Happy Tip 1: Take offense.