Happiness Strategies | How to be Happy

A recent article in London’s Telegraph (via SMH) quoted research that a person’s birth date can influence their personality.

Now before you run screaming for astrology.com, please note that Richard Wiseman, psych professor at Hertfordshire Uni, observes in the article that these findings are ‘exactly what you would expect if it were temperature related… many of the effects reverse in the two hemispheres’.

Just what are these birth-date-related personality effects?

In the northern hemisphere (the effects reverse in the south):

• May-born women show more impulsivity
• November-born women are more reflective
• Spring-born men exhibit greater persistence
• People born in autumn tend toward greater physical activity and soccer skill
• People born in spring are more cerebral and may have an aptitude for chess

It seems then that personality isn’t in the stars – but it might be partly in the seasons.

Happiness life strategy

Now if you’re a November-born gal who enjoys her daily omphaloskepsis, or a spring-babe with a fondness for Bobby Fischer, then by all means let these findings spur you on. But please don’t take personality categories as justification for being less than your best.  Avoid stories like this:

• See, that’s why I throw things – I was born in May
• I can’t get on with people because I’m a Leo/introverted/in the Dominant quadrant

They only deny you the full scope of your potential and your personality and limit your happiness. Instead, embrace personality characteristics that work for you – perhaps your compassion, sense of beauty, or analytical mind – and downplay those that don’t.

Remember too that findings like those in the article reflect an average effect - there’ll be millions of impulsive people born in other months and millions of May-borns with a calm temperament.

We all have a spectrum of behaviours open to us. Although different people may have access to different spectra – by virtue of genes, upbringing, habit or even birth season – there’s never only one narrow path we’re forced to tread. Whatever your spectrum, aim for the pole that brings out your best.

To open up your potential for happiness, don’t let yourself be pigeon-holed. Nurture the personality traits that serve you and choose to rise above the ones that don’t.

Image: pyrator under the terms of a creative commons license

If you think alcohol is a good way to feel good when things go bad, think again. A recent SMH article shed light on liquor’s little secret – it can lead to depression.

‘Compared to people who drink because they’re depressed, there are more people who get depressed because they regularly drink too much’, says Professor Sitharthan Thiagarajan of the Australian Centre for Addiction Research.

Why this is so is not clear. It may be that excessive alcohol affects mood centres in the brain. Or perhaps drinking too much causes distressing work or family problems.

The good news is that drinking less can reverse the problem.

‘We know that when people drink a lot over a long period, their mood goes down – yet when they start to drink less, their mood goes up’, says Thiagarajan.

In fact, a 2,500-person study of the Centre’s Controlled Drinking by Correspondence Program found that learning to drink less improved people’s mood. And we’re not talking intractable alcoholics, here – the participants were generally people with education, employment and relationships for whom alcohol had simply become a 6+ drinks-a-day habit.

Happiness life strategy

If you turn to booze as a daily staple, think about other ways to relax or feel good. I like watching comedies and reading fiction, and I have friends who enjoy a dip in the pool, walking, playing drums, cooking, dancing, chatting to friends on the phone or listening to music.

Opt for a little less hootch in your life and you just might find yourself with a little more happiness.

Technorati Tags: happiness,happines life strategy,alcohol,depression

Image: antoinedemorris under the terms of a Creative Commons Licence.

Teenage affluenza is spreading fast

This video has done the rounds, but it’s well worth revisiting, even at more than 5 minutes. If you haven’t seen it, please do – your time and attention will be rewarded.

It brilliantly highlights the effect comparison has on how we see our lives. If we compare our bodies with those of supermodels, our bank accounts with those of media moguls, or our track times with those of Olympic athletes, it probably won’t do much to boost our happiness. But if we’re a little wiser, we can choose to see our lives in a more realistic light, and recognize just how much we have to be happy about.

The video is so cool because of its humor.

Humor is also how David Rakoff’s recent essay collection makes his point about our culture of excess. It’s delightfully titled:

Now, Don’t Get Too Comfortable:
The Indignities of Coach Class, the Torments of Low Thread Count, the Never-ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems.

Happiness life strategy

UrbanDictionary.com defines first world problems as:

Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.

The truth is, most of our problems fit this category. We live in the first world, so it makes sense that social slights, iPods and overweight are the kinds of concerns that occupy us. But the reminder from commentators like World Vision and David Rakoff to run the occasional reality check on our perspective, expectations and points of comparison is worth heeding.

Choosing to see our problems in perspective leaves us with less to worry about and more to appreciate. And that’s a great life strategy for happiness.

If you’ve completed

Step 1: Admit you have a problem and

Step 2: Purge

then you’re probably feeling pretty damned pleased with yourself right now – and rightly so! I can just picture you – basking in that glow of clutterless clarity, clucking derisively at friends still trapped in clutter rebutting, nodding sagely as you flip through the pristine pages of home porn (decorating mags).

But beware! Don’t allow your hard work to go to waste by letting disorder stage a coup d’etat when you’re looking the other way. If you return to old habits it’s only a matter of time before you’re back where you started – and tripping over crap to answer a call from Oprah about appearing in her upcoming Horror Hoarders episode.

So how do you maintain the gain? Well, I’m going to let you in on a secret. There’s a way to keep disarray at bay without hypnosis, or therapy to heal your inner hoarder, or trekking to a meditation master for the secret to simplicity. It’s just one little trick that will make dishevelment a distant memory.

Step 3: The secret to staying clutter-free: OCI-OGO

Ready?

One comes in, one goes out.

That’s the answer. You can never be overtaken by clutter again if you simply stick to this one little rule in your life. It will become a habit fast – and it will let you bypass a lot of soul searching and angst. Just adopt this change and you’ll forever be free of life rubble. For example…

Bought a new handbag or briefcase? Give away an old one.

Got the latest New Scientist magazine? Put Ralph (the articles, I know) in the recycle bin.

Picked up a nifty nik-nak you don’t need? Forget OGO, you need to cut this one off at the OCI stage and return it, drop it off at a charity store or put it in the trash before you even get home. (Put those wasted dollars down to ‘the cost of sanity’.)

Here are some tips for making OCI-OGO a part of your home-life. Most of these are about creating boundaries so that OCI-OGO gets structured into your environment.

Your wardrobe
After you’ve completed Step 2: Purge, discard any leftover hangers. Now, whenever you buy a new outfit, you have to free up a hanger by letting go of something else. It doesn’t have to be ugly or old, it simply has to be something you like less than the other clothes you have.

Your kitchen
Unless you regularly entertain Nobel laureates and international dignitaries on whom world peace may depend, consider having only ‘everyday’ crockery, cutlery and glassware. Choose designs that are attractive, dishwasher- and microwave-safe and available in separates to replace breakages. Have enough to meet general use and get rid of everything else. Use these items until they start to look worse for wear and then replace the lot. This approach spares you time, energy and storage space.

Your reading/music library
Once you have your shelves in their post-purge perfection, keep them that way. As you set off to buy the latest Tori Amos or Ian McEwan, take something from the shelf with you – and don’t bring it home again.

You get the idea – now use it! I promise you it will change your life. From lipstick to lounge chairs, OCI-OGO works at every level to simplify your home – and your life.

Technorati Tags: getting organized,clutter,spring-cleaning,life make-over