Happiness Strategies | How to be Happy

Last week I mentioned a study pointing to the psychological benefits of creative pursuits.

Now, for the readers among us, there’s more good news. This month The Guardian reported the use of experimental reading groups as a form of therapy. ‘Bibliotherapy’ is being tried across a range of problems - including anxiety and depressive disorders, Alzheimer’s, learning disabilities,  motor-neurone disease and neurological and psychiatric disorders. The idea is to see if reading helps reduce pain and mental distress.

So far, the anecdotal results are heartening - but the scientific jury on bibliotherapy is still out.

Still, even an emeritus professor  like Raymond Tallis of Manchester University is open to the possibilities. He concedes in the article that reading could be therapeutic, especially in easing depression:

“…The pleasure of escape into a parallel world; the sense of control one has as a reader; and the ability to distance one’s self from one’s own circumstances by seeing them from without, suffered by someone else and gathered up into a nicely worked-out plot - somewhere around here is the notion of the Aristotelian purgation and Sartre’s idea of ‘the purifying reflection’.”

Purgation and purifying reflection notwithstanding, reading might offer respite from your daily ills. Whether you join a reading group, discuss books with friends or just lose yourself between the covers, why not add a little bibliotherapy to your repertoire of happiness strategies.

Textual healing

Here are a few books that have lifted my spirits. Feel free to share your own in the comments.

• Great Expectations by Charles DIckens
• Atonement by Ian McEwan
• Life of Pi by Yann Martel
• Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood
• Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

With thanks to my friend Kathy for letting me know about this interesting therapy.

Technorati Tags: Happiness,happiness strategies,reading,books,bibliotherapy,reading groups,books groups

If you need a little refresher on technique, Mary Poppins and friends have some notes

We all love to laugh (er, don’t we?). But ever since Norman Cousins extolled the therapeutic benefits of Marx Brothers-induced giggles, laughter has been lauded for its healthful effects as well as its pleasurable sensations.

According to the latest Fitness First magazine, laughter:

• transforms negative stress into wellbeing
• strengthens the immune system
• is anti-ageing
• reduces depression and anxiety
• develops confidence
• improves our sense of humour
• encourages creativity, imagination and problem-solving
• is an aerobic exercise, equivalent to cardiovascular exercise
• increases the body’s natural painkillers
• reduces stress-related hormones

(Fitness First, January/February 2008, page 42. Research sources not provided) .

Happiness life strategy

So it feels good to laugh and there are many great reasons to do it. The trick is to get those laughs happening more often.

Here are some ideas for raising your daily laughter load:

• Swap the tear jerker for some movie tomfoolery.
  Try Ground Hog Day, American Pie, Clueless - or ask like-minded friends for recommendations.
• Watch funny TV shows.
  Modern classics include Friends and Seinfeld.  My personal faves are Arrested Development, The Office (US version), and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Get the DVDs and have them on hand for a regular dose of diversion.
• Lower your laughter threshold.
  Some people are determined not to laugh unless the joke is extremely worthy and all the stars are aligned. Be an easy laugher - have your funny bone exposed and ready for tickling.
• Avoid gloomy or overly serious people.
  It’s their choice to refuse to partake in silliness, but they’ll take the fun out of it for you. Instead…
• Spend time with laughers.
  Ever noticed how watching actors laugh on blooper reels makes you laugh too? Laughter is infectious - so hang out with easily amused friends and soon chortling will become second nature for you, too.
• Smile more.
  It looks good, it feels good, it makes others feel good - and it’ll help train those cheek muscles for all that laughter you’ll be doing.

Looking for a way to boost your happiness while reducing anxiety and depression?

New research from the UK’s Manchester Metropolitan University suggests artistic pursuits are a good choice.

Their  three year Treasury-funded project found participants ‘felt happier, empowered and more confident’ following creative endeavors such as:

• painting
• dance
• music
• story-telling

So what are you waiting for? Don that leotard, grab a crayon and color yourself happy!

Technorati Tags: happiness research,creativity

Lesson: Not all personalities are created equally happy

In Strategy 11 we saw there’s evidence that genes link to happiness via personality - which has a moderate-to-strong genetic component, emerges early, and stays stable-ish through life.

Psychologists believe personality can, to some extent, be reflected by 5 traits: agreeableness, openness,  conscientiousness, extraversion, and neuroticism. These ‘Big-Five’  are dimensions, not types, so all 5 appear in everyone to some extent. And they don’t sum up a person - they’re simply helpful descriptive tools.

Of special relevance to happiness are neuroticism, a tendency to be anxious, moody and easily upset, and extraversion, an inclination toward sociability, optimism and activity. Quite a lot of research suggests there’s a personality-happiness link: that happiness relates positively to extraversion and negatively to neuroticism. (1; 2; 3).

This link - and the finding that personality doesn’t change much over your life - has led some psychologists in the past to say  happiness is genetically set (4). But these days psychologists see heredity as indirect - you can thwart unwanted aspects of personality by deliberate action (5) - such as avoiding triggering situations or consciously choosing to do things that may not come naturally.

Recent research supports the idea of a more indirect happiness-personality link:

• Personality is only one influence on happiness (4). Other factors play a part - and may even counteract personality effects - in a person’s happiness level.
• The happiness-personality link fades when you include happiness-generating behaviors (6).  (There’ll be much more on these in upcoming strategies). That is, happiness has a lot to do with a person’s actions.
• For instance, extraverts feel happier because they make more effort to manage their moods (7).

Happiness strategy: Make peace with your personality

If you’re inclined toward sociability, optimism and activity, celebrate your extraversion! If you’re naturally resistant to upsets, worry and bad moods, enjoy your freedom from neuroticism! And if you’re both extraverted and emotionally stable (the opposite pole of neuroticism) then congratulations - you have a happy personality (8)!

If, however, you recognize in yourself a more introverted temperament, or a leaning toward the neurotic, then you might like to notice the things you do that don’t serve your happiness, and choose different behaviors that may not come so naturally. For instance:

• Recognize your perspective may be skewed
  If you lean toward the neurotic, you might think in ways that promote worry, moodiness and upset. Don’t beat yourself up about it - but do recognize that the way you see things may not be constructive. Instead of giving worries and bad moods too much attention, consider seeing them as quirks of personality - and you may find they lose some of their bite.
• Find alternatives to ruminating
  Ruminating is an ineffective way of dealing with worry. If you catch yourself doing it, consciously switch to a more proactive strategy, like writing in a journal, talking with a friend, or brainstorming possible actions to take - anything that stops you endlessly re-hashing go-nowhere thoughts.
• Develop a repertoire of bad-mood busters
  Feeling bad can set you on a downward spiral of negative thinking. Instead, stage a mood intervention and do something to make yourself feel better - just like you might do for a friend. Activities that get you out of your head can be a welcome distraction - like books, movies, DVDs, (keep them light and fun), shopping, gardening, playing sport or games, or spending time with friends. 

These suggestions can help you develop a more emotionally stable approach to upsets. There’s also much to be gained from boosting your extraversion level - as we’ll see in the next strategy.

Research sources:

(1) Cheng, H., & Furnham, A. (2003). Personality, self-esteem, and demographic predictions of happiness and depression. Personality and Individual Differences, 34(6), 921-942.

(2) Hayes, N., & Joseph, S. (2003). Big 5 correlates of three measures of subjective well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 34(4), 723-727.

(3) Headey, B., & Wearing, A. J. (1992). Understanding happiness: A theory of subjective well-being. South Melbourne: Longman Cheshire.

(4) Lykken, D., & Tellegen, A. (1996). Happiness is a stochastic phenomenon. Psychological Science, 7(3), 186-189.

(5) Lyubomirsky, S. (2001). Why are some people happier than others?: The role of cognitive and motivational processes in well-being. American Psychologist, 56(3), 239-249.

(6) Tkach, C., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How do people pursue happiness?: Relating personality, happiness-increasing strategies, and well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(2), 183-225.

(7) Lischetzke, T., & Eid, M. (2006). Why extraverts are happier than introverts: The role of mood regulation. Journal of Personality, 74(4), 1127-1162.

(8) Francis, L. J., Brown, L. B., Lester, D., & Philipchalk, R. (1998). Happiness as stable extraversion: A cross-cultural examination of the reliability and validity of the Oxford Happiness Inventory among students in the U.K., U.S.A., Australia, and Canada. Personality and Individual Differences, 24(2), 167-171.

How to be happy:
101 practical strategies drawn from positive psychology.

This post is part of a series covering simple, practical, research-inspired, happiness strategies you can use in your own life. For more information about the series, check out the 101 Happiness Strategies main page.

Technorati Tags: Happiness research,happiness strategies,personality,positive psychology,happiness,extraversion,neuroticism

Image: dokuro hana under the terms of a creative commons license

Thomas Leonard, considered by many to be the father of life coaching, coined the term ‘irresistibly attractive’ to describe the drawing of people, ideas and opportunities to you rather than the pursuit or seduction of these things by you.

Here are his top 10 steps to becoming irresistibly attractive, reproduced verbatim from
http://www.topten.org/public/BK/BK2.html

The Top 10 Steps to Becoming Irresistibly Attractive

1. Don’t need much.
If you need something, usually it will run away/escape you. Get your personal and financial needs met first and you’ll find yourself attracting vs seducing.

2. Think big, really big.
Attraction occurs when there is a healthy vacuum between where you are and what you want to have happen. The wider the gap, the greater the pulling power of attraction.

3. Eliminate the holes in your life.
Where are you being depleted? By whom? Plug those holes by extending boundaries, raising standards, resolving past issues, healing. Attraction won’t find you until you’re ready. Get ready.

4. Pay attention to what’s happening to/around you RIGHT NOW.
Attraction LIVES in the moment, not in the future. Are you responding fully to both the problems and the opportunities that are occurring — in force — right now, in your space? Gotta start here, where attraction can find you.

5. Learn from people who are naturally attractive.
Some people are; some people aren’t. Hang out with those who are and emulate them. And ask for help. They’ll be happy to tell you how it works. Just be ready to make changes in your thinking, assumptions, actions and behavior.

6. Increase your awareness.
Sounds trite, but it’s necessary. Attraction is a subtle phenomenon. You won’t feel it or get it until you’ve increased your awareness of yourself, those around you, how you think, your life assumptions.

7. Add value to whomever or whatever you encounter.
We all have something to add. Add it. If you don’t have enough to add, learn a new skill. When you ADD what you have to other’s lives, whether they are clients, friends, potential customers, family, YOU become much more attractive.

8. Tell the truth.
This means more than not lying. There is a level of telling the truth that will truly set you free and attract others to you. And, there is a way to tell the truth from a place of love vs power. Usually having awareness and advanced phrasing is what helps this process occur naturally. That, plus having enough reserve in your life so you can afford any consequences of telling the truth.

9. Build a reserve in all areas.
When you have enough money, time, space, love, ideas, opportunities, friends, you’ll become an even stronger magnet for what you want — because you won’t NEED it.

10. Do what YOU want to do in life.
We’ve all been overly influenced by shoulds, oughts and have-to’s. So much so that what you/we want to do has been suppressed WAY down deep.

Happiness life strategy

Leonard’s idea of attractiveness - of being the kind of person who draws to you the things you desire, rather than having to madly chase them - well, it’s a very attractive idea. But I find his steps a little overwhelming. How can we apply them in our own lives?

One approach is to read over each one and see if you feel prompted to make a particular change or take up a certain action that gels with where you are now. Then you could re-visit the steps in, say, a week or a month (I always diarize tasks I want to remember) and notice what speaks to you then. That way, you can slowly absorb this notion of becoming irresistibly attractive and allow it to permeate your life.

And if it still seems a little overwhelming, maybe that’s not a bad thing. As Leonard says, you want a ‘healthy vacuum between where you are and what you want to have happen. The wider the gap, the greater the pulling power of attraction’.

Image: mike@bensalem under the terms of a creative commons license